drowning

Endless fluttering in my chest, this, that, here, there, more, less, should, please! running between responsibilities and small reliefs, consistently hiding from facing the cause
to cling to anything
like a drowning

drowning

would I really drown
if i let go
surrender
I finally understood to ask myself
Stopped
to see what is that
I was so afraid,
quiet down
slowly encouraging myself to let go of resistance,
let the flutter intensify into a thunder,
a deluge, come, take me over!
tremendous force, rising from the depths, all the power I ever asked for, to be fully, to be true, real, vulnerable, so strong, with the entire universe breathing through me, to break down for freedom